There are many situations that a Hasher [Smoker, Toker or Participator] of Marijuana get themselves into where the only word to describe them, is by telling it as it really is…they’re fucking Clowns!  Not full-time Clowns like you’d get at a circus or anything, but those part-timers’s that really fuck it up for us real smokers.

Here are just fifteen examples from a few generations of Hasher’s that have gained entry into the “Clown Books”, but more importantly, they have made it into our “Clown Books” for one and all to see.  We hope you enjoy them as much as we enjoy sharing them.

  1. [Mother of 5 children to Social Services Officer]: “Are you kidding! I smoke and drink more than this over the weekend”.
  2. [Speeding motorist to Police Officer]: “No, tonight is the first time I’ve ever smoked weed while I was driving!”
  3. [Father of 2 children to Nosey Neighbour]: “If I ever found out any of my kids were taking drugs, I’d confiscate the lot and smoke that shit up right in front of their eyes. That would teach them a lesson!”
  4. [Parishner to Vicar]: “Considering it’s the day of rest, Vicar, Sunday is the only day I get to smoke weed and get laid!”
  5. [Son to his father]: “Of course, it’s a small amount of weed, Dad, there was ten times as much yesterday!”
  6. [Hasher to arresting officer]: “Its Ok, I’ve got plenty more at home!”
  7. [Tenant to Bailiff’s]: “I’m sat here with less than a gram of Skunk, do you think I’m going to have your money for rent arrears?”
  8. [Hasher to Judge]: “I forgot to ask, do I get my gear back after I do my prison time?”
  9. [Hasher to Hasher]: “That’s OK, smoke as much as you want!”
  10. [Hasher to Police Officer]: “Come on, I bet you toke a lot of weed on your nights off!”
  11. [Male Hasher to Male Hasher]: “I can’t believe how horny this shit makes me feel! Fuck I could suck a dick and not have a single bad dream on this weed!”
  12. [Teenage Hasher to Father]: “Fuck, Dad! It must have been shit weed you were smoking during the sixties!”
  13. [Teenage Hasher to Teacher]: “Well, that’s what my dealer says is an ounce!”
  14. [Street Dealer to Police Officer]: “If you don’t believe me, take a toke!”
  15. [Hasher to Pub Landlord]: “Ah, well, it’s a lot less calories, doesn’t kill as many brain cells and, I can drive a car much straighter than that piss you’re calling beer!”

© The Comedy Club (UK). 2010